Sometimes we talk about something, but don't think about our words. Sometimes we talk to ourselves, but out loud we are not able to express what we really want. And sometimes we think, but our words, expressions, language and even cognitive abilities are not enough to formalize and fully understand our own feelings. This little book is an attempt to put feelings into combinations of words. Unfortunately, limitedness of mind is a characteristic of a person, and by putting the fluctuations of the soul into text, I am making a huge mistake. But whatever particles of consciousness I was able to catch and study, those were the ones I expressed on paper. The work itself is an allegory. And all the phrases of the book should be treated allegorically, but at first this will not work. It is necessary to read the entire book for individual metaphors and epithets to acquire additional, and sometimes even basic, meaning. Then in your head a puzzle from different pieces of the work can be combined into a whole canvas.