...Human rights, dignity, pride - everything was destroyed. There was one thing the devil's breeders could not destroy: sexual desire. Despite the bans, punishment cells, hunger and humiliation, it lived and flourished much more openly and spontaneously than in freedom. What a free person would perhaps think about a hundred times, was done here as easily as with stray cats. No, this was not the debauchery of a brothel. Here there was real, “legitimate” love, with fidelity, jealousy, suffering, the pain of separation and the terrible “peak of love” - the birth of children. A beautiful and terrible thing is the instinct of childbirth. Beautiful when all conditions are created for the acceptance of a new person into the world, and terrible if even before his birth he is doomed to torment. But people with dull minds did not think much about the fate of their offspring. Just to the point of madness, to the point of beating my head against the wall, to the point of death, I wanted love, tenderness, affection. And I wanted a child - a creature that is dear and close, for whom I would not be sorry to give my life. I held out for a relatively long time. But one’s own hand was so needed, so desired, so that one could at least slightly lean on it in this many years of loneliness, oppression and humiliation to which a person was doomed.