My name is Bob. Just Bob. Not even Robert or Roberto or anything else that exciting. Just Bob. Bob Mills. This is not a fancy name or a name that inspires great romantic stories. Nobody writes odes to Bob. Nobody shouts “Bob!” when reaching the peak of passion. There are no great masterpieces with Bob as the main character. I can't even remember a single fictional character named Bob. To make matters worse, I'm an accountant and wear glasses. I have a cat. I have a library card and I actually use it. If the karmic universe could shit on anyone, it would be me. Isn't it exciting? Yes, no. There is nothing exciting in my life. Ever. Everything changed when someone signed a contract on my life.