The universe is in desperate peril. The United States' own defense system, orbiting above an unknowing populace, is more vulnerable than its creators could have envisioned. Now, bombarded by a freakish cluster of natural phenomena, the ultimate protection has become a perfect doomsday machine. Its target: not just the U.S., not just Earth, but the entire universe. And only one man can stop the devastation this unholy weapon will wreak. Unfortunately, he's not available. So the job falls instead to bar owner Jake Stonebender. And his wife, Zoey, and superintelligent toddler, Erin. Not to mention two dozen busloads of ex-hippies and freaks, Robert Heinlein's wandering cat, a whorehouse parrot, and misunderstood genius-inventor Nikola Tesla, who is in fact alive and well. It'll take a move to Key West, an experiment in mass telepathy, and hundreds of gallons of Irish coffee to save everything-as-we-know-it from annihilation. But it's nothing Jake Stonebender hasn't done before....Callahan's Key is the story of a group of humans-more or less-who band together in a cosmic adventure-more or less-to make the universe safe for...well, probably more of the same.