While many feminist and queer movements are designed to challenge sexism, they often simultaneously police gender and sexuality?sometimes just as fiercely as the straight, male-centric mainstream does. Among LGBTQ activists, there is a long history of lesbians and gay men dismissing bisexuals, transgender people, and other gender and sexual minorities. In each case, exclusion is based on the premise that certain ways of being gendered or sexual are more legitimate, natural, or righteous than others. As a trans woman, bisexual, and femme activist, Julia Serano has spent much of the.;A word about words -- On the outside looking in -- On being a woman -- Margins -- Trans feminism : there's no conundrum about it -- Reclaiming femininity -- Three strikes and I'm out -- Dating -- Bisexuality and binaries revisited -- How to be an ally to trans women -- Performance piece -- Perversion of "the personal is political" -- Homogenizing versus holistic views of gender and sexuality -- How double standards work -- Myriad double standards -- Fixed versus holistic perspectives -- Expecting heterogeneity -- Challenging gender entitlement -- Self-examining desire and embracing ambivalence -- Recognizing invalidations -- Balancing acts.